Have you ever heard the sentiment “leave people better than you find them?” The idea that we can walk through the world as light workers committed to making it a better place by BRINGING love, compassion, kindness and light everywhere we go.
We all know the woman who can light up a room when she walks into it. It has nothing to do with what she’s wearing and everything to do with how she carries herself. How relaxed she is in her body, the smile she has on her face and the energy that says “I have nothing to prove.”
So much PAIN is found in dating when we are out there trying to “prove” our worth to men. When we are out there trying to “get” a man to love us, approve of us and validate our worth. We do this and then wonder why we hate dating so much (crazy- making!).
I teach relationship SKILLS. Yes, there are SKILLS required to making a relationship great.
The first piece to having a great relationship is being whole first.
Not looking for a partner to fill you up, approve of you, validate you or make you happy.
It’s really hard to do what I’m about to suggest to you when you *don’t* feel whole already.
If we follow this sentiment of “leave people better than you found them” imagine what could happen for you when dating?
IMAGINE, feeling SO WHOLE that when you go out on a date you are not concerned with whether or not the guy likes you, nor concerned with making sure he shows up perfectly for you, and concerned ONLY about being genuinely interested in who he is and getting to know him? IMAGINE THAT.
I loved dating. I had the gift of not having to do it for very long but I was very committed to a few things.
1. I was committed to being happy first
2. I was committed to being PRESENT. I didn’t have any anxiety, worry, doubt or pressure to “find a husband fast” and was committed to taking it one day at a time, one date at a time
3. I was committed to being genuinely curious about who the guy was in front of me
Now, if you’re doing all of these things AWESOME.
If you’re not – notice why not.
Are you pressuring yourself to find a husband fast?
Are you still looking for validation and approval?
Are you curious about the guy in front of you, but you’re still constantly wondering if he is ‘the one” or not?
It’s an inside job.
Everything changes with FAITH and with femininity.
Being able to be at ease in your body. To trust yourself. Trust LIFE. Have patience.
I went on a couple dates with a man before I met Andrew. Once I met Andrew of course and went on a few dates with him, I ended up letting the other guy know that I had found someone I was more interested in and wanted to focus on him alone. This is the text I got back:
“Catherine, thank you for letting me know. I am so happy I got to meet a woman like you and I really enjoyed spending time with you.”
And then wished me well with my new guy (Andrew).
We all know ANDREW has said some pretty incredible things to me, but THIS was incredible too. I went on 3 dates with this man.
Now, this may seem like a little thing but it’s actually HUGE for me. Let’s just say for a long time I wasn’t getting texts like that. I had several times when guys told me to STOP texting them actually!!!
It was so beautiful to know that I had that kind of impact on a man.
This is beyond just finding love.
HOW ARE YOU TREATING EVERY SINGLE MAN YOU MEET?
If you are “waiting” to be kind to a man when you find the right one you are missing the point.
If you are “waiting” for HIM to make YOU feel something, you’re missing the point.
Learning how to be with men is a KEY PIECE of relationship healing. I go over this in detail with all of my clients and in the Path to Love program.
Imagine dating without blaming the dating app for why you aren’t finding love and without blaming men.
Imagine being at EASE in your body and with this process and recognizing that the effort you are putting in to FIND love will be the effort you put in IN a relationship to make it great. You’re learning NOW how to be with uncertainty, how to make time for what matters to you, how to practice vulnerable conversations and learn what you like and don’t like.
That’s what I’ll leave you with today.
How am I treating EVERY single man I come in contact with?
Am I leaving people better than when I find them?
Watch yourself have more great dates – that’s what I hope for you.
If you’re serious about finding love and sick of struggling in love, click here for your FREE 45 min consultation to see what may be blocking you from having the experience you WANT to be having.